So its too late to be actually writing but after almost falling asleep watching a PBS special on cannabis i hoped on to check the end of the day sports scores and found my mind drifting away about my soon to arrive baby and soon death of my grandma.
I've never really been a person who deal with change very well. I have become better at coping with change as I age but it is big changes are not my forte. I am about to experience two very huge changes. I've had 9 months to prep myself for our first baby, but yet as i get daily updates from my mom on the status of my grandmothers deteriorating condition it seems her death will be harder change. In the back of my mind I've always known that my grandma was going to die (just like us all), but it still weighs heavier on my mind than the huge change that will happen when the baby is born.
I think its because death's adjustment period (grieving) doesn't have anything new, just the lack of something. With the baby everything is new and everything changes, but with death there is just a void.
Now, i love Jesus and believe that our belief in Him holds the promise of life everlasting, but for life on earth this is it. So, I'm left holding a mixed bag of emotions, none too overwhelming, but a jumbled pot of anxiety, excitement, dread, and uncertainty as the two polar opposites on life's cycle converge in the very near future within the Tippen household.
~Preston
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